Month: June 2010

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A Little More Conversation, A Little Less Action

Here is how a typical conversation with my husband goes:
Him: “Do you think we should put the good desktop computer in the boys room?”
Me: “No. Absolutely not. They already spend too much time on their ancient computer where they can hardly do anything.”Of course, we have a dispute about what was said. His version included me saying “Yes, dear.”

My boys are 4 and 6 and, I feel, too young to have 24/7 access to the computer (other than the ancient, painfully slow computer they had before). My 6 year old is about a month away from being smarter than I am and I’m sure he’ll be able to deal with those pesky parental controls by the time he’s 7. His cousin could take a computer apart and put it back together by the time she was in the 6th grade.

So of course on Friday evening I come home to find the computer set up in my boys’ room.

I couldn’t argue much because the husband did this while I was out to dinner, the second night in a row I stayed out past 10, and he watched the kids. I left the arguing to the next day.

I normally don’t worry too much about Internet security so when Yahoo! Motherboard chose the topic for its bloggers, I didn’t think I would have anything to talk about. Well, thanks to the husband, now I do.

It’s not that I’m consumed with fears that someone trolling on the internet will find my kids and want to chat. I’m more worried about what they will consume while I’m trying to get a little work done. They love to watch videos. I want them to play educational games with Sid the Science Kid on PBS Kids, but instead they “found” (which means my husband showed them) the Lego site and now they watch videos on Lego Star Wars and Batman.

These are not horrible for kids (in fact, they are awesome), but I don’t think it’s good  for the 4-year-old to see so much violence even if it’s acted out by Legos. They play Lego Star Wars and Batman on the Wii and now Xbox (which, for full disclosure, was given to me last week by Xbox).

Back to the husband. I mentioned to him that I thought the 4-year-old was being exposed to too much violence. I told him that I felt strongly that the games and videos were having a negative effect on our younger son. Sports games are fine, but no more Lego games until they’re older.

“Okay,” he said. Saturday he took them out to buy some games for the new Xbox. Of course, they came back with a Spiderman game (and Toy Story 3). I wish I had a parental control for my husband.

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The Great Momtini

I come from a sports family. My sister was a softball star, my oldest brother was a basketball and track star and my other brother continues to be an amazing tennis player and coach. And then there was me.

Sports was not my thing. I liked to read, watch TV and eat peanut butter sandwiches. Gordita was one of my nicknames, and I was definitely gordita. And not too fast. And half blind. I didn’t get glasses until the 5th grade. That was years after I started playing T-ball and came home with black eyes from not seeing the balls flying toward my face.

Needless to say, I was not a popular kid and my family is not known for sensitivity. My sister described our childhood as “Lord of the Flies.” So to make up for that, I try to be very sensitive to my two boys. I encourage them to be happy just the way they are and I try not to be critical. That was, until, one of my kids started playing basketball.

He’s 6 and from the beginning I wasn’t sure that basketball would be a good fit for him. It’s a contact sport and he’s a sweet, gentle guy, not an aggressive one.

But you need a little aggression to play basketball. You need to get the ball away from the other team and clear your way to make a basket. You need to make a basket.

“You need to try harder,” I told my son after I had shown him for the gazillionth time how to dribble while running. I was one of the assistant coaches, which I volunteered to do because I thought it would be “fun.” If you would have asked my son at the time he probably would have called it “torture.”

No, I did not bounce the basketball off of his head or call him names a la “The Great Santini,” but it brought out a competitive side I didn’t know I had.

We bought a basketball hoop and played outside after school. We practiced dribbling and shooting and we played keep away. But he didn’t really want to keep it away or get it away from me. He’s just not aggressive and in your face and neither am I, but that didn’t stop me from expecting him to be Michael Jordan (see, I don’t even know the name of a current basketball star).

After several games, I noticed something. Actually, I didn’t notice something, the other parents pointed out that my son had not made a basket during a game (all of the other kids had at that point) and they assured me that it was okay. If it was okay then why was everyone pointing out to me that it was okay?

I haven’t mentioned that this basketball program is the sweetest, most non competitive program you can imagine. The teams are parent coached and no one keeps score. They are so nice that during several games near the end of the season the ref and my son’s head coach spent quite a bit of time setting him up during the game so he would make a basket. I would hold my breath when he would take each shot and then let it out when he wouldn’t make it.

But then in the second to last game, I held my breath and when I let it out it was a scream because he made a basket. I actually started to well up.

And it was in that moment that I realized what a total ass I had been. Who cares if a 6-year-old can make a basket (now that basketball season is over, he’s making them all the time). My son is amazing and smart and good at so many things. Why did I care so much? He’s 6 for god’s sake. How did I get to be that parent?

I still don’t know, but I do know that it takes a very special person to coach children’s sports. And I am not that person.

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Kinect and a Cirque "Inspired" event

School is winding down for my boys, which means there is a flurry of activity these last couple of weeks. That didn’t stop me from picking my kids up from school and driving them downtown to play Xbox.

We tried the new game Kinect a month or so ago when it was a beta version known as Project Natal, but the changes made for the most recent version are amazing. With Kinect for XBox 360, you can make the avatar move just by moving your arms and legs. Crazy, Spooky.

Speaking of crazy, even though the invitation said recommended for kids 8 and up, I took my 4 and 6-year-old boys to the unveiling performance of Project Natal for XBox Experience Imagined by Cirque du Soleil. I don’t know much French, but apparently “Imagined” means minimal involvement by Cirque du Soleil. After getting stuck in traffic, yelled at by a police officer, and standing in line for 45 minutes, we waited an hour for the show to start. Once it started, it was clear it wasn’t the “circus” I had promised them, but my kids sat with their mouths open during the entire show, which was a long demonstration of all the new games.

Here is a little video I took…

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Trash for Teaching

On Wednesday, I had a group of friends over so we could introduce our kids to joys of playing with trash. I hosted a party for Trash for Teaching to get the word out about this innovative not for profit that uses recycled materials to teach kids.

Teaching artist Kelly Crispin arrived with bags of recycled materials from empty pen casings to fabric to reflective paper. She gathered the kids, who ranged in age from 3 to 10, in a circle and talked about what is trash and what is treasure.

It was a pretty boy heavy group and one of them said “I don’t even like art!” Well, the minute Kelly started talking he was enthralled. She showed the group a butterfly made from tubes and cardboard and then passed out materials. Kelly asked the kids to go around and share what they thought the materials could be. My older son used a piece of plastic and acted like was looking through a window. My friend’s son put a cone on his head and pretended to be a rhinoceros.

After all of the kids had a turn they went over to the tables where Kelly had put bags of materials and tape and scissors. My 6-year-old made this bear and my 4-year-old made a lovely collage.

Before everyone arrived, I tried my best to be crafty mom and I lined the tables with cut up paper bags and newspaper ads. The day before, my 6-year-old and I planted flowers in a cleaned out Gatorade bottle (something good came from the vomiting child who had needed the Gatorade), and a plastic strawberry container. My kids were so involved in setting it up, I think I’m going with Trash for Teaching for our next birthday party.

Kelly ran the Trash for Teaching party like she would a birthday party, which seemed like a much better alternative to a sweaty dude dressed up as Darth Vader. T4T can do theme birthday parties, like eco-superhero, garden or fashion. Each child gets a goody bag so they can work on more projects at home. It was impressive how much fun, energy and thought that Kelly put into the instruction. The kids loved her and had a great time making their projects, which was lovely because it gave the moms some time to chat.

The party was also a small fund raiser for my teacher friend’s school in Inglewood. We raised enough money for the terribly underfunded school to buy 100 pounds of materials from Trash for Teaching. I’m always amazed at all that my friend and her colleagues do there. For instance, her 4th grade class is going on an end of the year field trip to Knott’s Berry Farm. The kids aren’t going there to enjoy the rides, but to learn about the California gold rush. The trip cost $2,000 and the teachers raised all of the money themselves by holding fundraisers after school. Amazing.

Trash for Teaching is also trying to raise money. The not for profit mostly works with schools and has had some trouble recently after LAUSD cut its funding due to the district’s budget problems.

There are a few ways to help T4T including donating money through its website or donating materials. If you want to support Trash for Teaching and introduce your local school to a fun green art program, you can buy the school a membership or set up a Treasure Truck visit. You can learn more about Trash for Teaching here or visit the fan page on Facebook.

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Arizona, Why Do You Have To Make It So Difficult?

Way back in the day when I was a young reporter in Illinois, I sang “Volver, Volver” with Cesar Rosas of Los Lobos. Long story short, a colleague at the paper knew Bruce Hornsby and this got us backstage passes for the Further Festival, where Hornsby was playing that day in St. Louis. Thrilled, my friend and I flew across the bridge to get there before Los Lobos took the stage. We were too late, but backstage we found Cesar Rosas sitting alone on a stool playing the guitar. I introduced myself and said I was from Tucson and I had seen the band play at the Pima County Fair. He said he loved Tucson and told me to sit down with him. We sang the classic Mexican song, “Volver, Volver” together. I’ve since felt a bond with the band because they love Tucson like I love Tucson.

But Los Lobos won’t be going there anytime soon. The band released this statement last week.

 “We support the boycott of Arizona. The new law will inevitably lead to unfair racial profiling and possible abuse of people who just happen to look Latino. As a result, in good conscience, we could not see ourselves performing in Arizona….”

Los Lobos is forgoing a decent chunk of change by cancelling the show near Phoenix and potentially one in Tucson later in the summer. The band is willing to make the decision to support the boycott, but can I?

I already made plans to go to Tucson to see my family and friends. My kids haven’t seen my parents since Christmas and June is a good time to go; it’s not too hot (just barely 100 and bone dry) and many of the snowbirds (a.k.a. people who voted to make Arizona the laughing stock of the country) have gone to more temperate climates. I want to go because my kids love Tucson and they love their Nana and Papi. It’s not so we can stay at a fancy spa (and give a lot of tax money to the state).

Is it fair for me to keep them from their grandparents to make a point? I wrote this blog about Arizona’s new racist immigration law and I took my husband and children to march with me in the May Day rally in downtown Los Angeles. How do I teach my children that it’s important to stand up for what we believe and then cave so we can visit friends and family?I have mixed feelings about going there and spending any money. But it’s not like the state will stop operating because I’m not eating out at La Parilla Suiza, my favorite Tucson restaurant. My friends jokingly promised that we would only frequent businesses owned my illegal immigrants or we could just go to their houses and not spend any money at all.

But it’s not just the immigration law, of course. After the shame of the state voting down the Martin Luther King holiday years ago and the new immigration law, Arizona decided that the Tucson Unified School District can’t teach ethnic studies. I can understand how some people might think the new immigration law is a good thing, and that Arizona is trying to protect itself because the federal government is not. But it’s a big and ludicrous step for the Governor and legislature to go from immigration “reform” to dictating if or how schools can teach ethnic studies. Their attempt to prevent “resentment” by prohibiting schools from teaching ethnic studies is just plain racist and lacks any rational motivation.

The Tucson I knew growing up was a perfect interracial place where African Americans, Latinos and white people got along. For the record, the Tucson City Council is suing the state saying the immigration law is unconstitutional and the city’s police chief has also come out against it.

Everyone I know in Tucson, and not just my Mexican-American friends and family, is against the immigration law and the ban on ethnic studies.

Maybe I can justify my trip by thinking about this amazing story out of Arizona. One of my good friends and her husband were worried that Prop. 100, a ballot measure that would raise sales tax by 1 percent and bring millions of dollars to schools, would not pass. So they decided that when you’re handed lemons you put up a website, facebook page, and twitter account and then make lemonade. They organized 100 Stands for Education with the goal of raising awareness about the measure by getting families to put up 100 lemonade stands in one day. They fell just a few short, but the ballot measure passed.

My friend is Mexican-American and her husband is Indian-American. They did an incredible thing for kids and no one asked them for their papers. This is the Arizona that I know and one I want to share with my kids.

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The Kids Are All Right

I found this preview last night and I was planning to write about how I really wanted to see this movie. But as luck would have it Elise, of Elise’s Ramblings, got us into a screening. I can’t talk about yet, but I really want to!! It has Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, and Mark Ruffalo. It comes out in a few weeks, but in the meantime you can watch this trailer.

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Homemade Gluten-Free Chicken Nuggets

I’m constantly trying to get my kids to eat what I cook for them and not dine on store bought chicken nuggets that I heated up in the oven. So last night I made homemade nuggets with organic chicken and gluten-free bread crumbs.

It was a hit, sort of. My 6-year-old complained that they weren’t the right shape (uniform and made my a machine), but both kids ended up loving it. When I make it again I’ll cut the chicken in smaller pieces. I used the leftover batter to make breaded wild salmon for the husband and I, by simply adding a little chili powder to the bread crumb mixture to give it more flavor. The greens seen here are with garlic, onion, roasted tomatoes and green chilis. 

For chicken nuggets:
Whisk 1/3 cup buttermilk and one egg in a bowl and let chicken tenders (or nuggets) soak for a few minutes. 
In another bowl, combine 1 cup Southern Homestyle Corn Flake Crumbs, 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder, 1/2 teaspoon onion powder and salt and pepper. 
Dip the chicken in one piece at a time, coating it completely. Cook in Canola or Corn oil over medium heat until they are golden brown, about 5 minutes per side. Cool them on a rack or on a plate with paper towel. 

Enjoy!!

I don’t use buttermilk very much, but I sometimes run across a recipe that calls for it. Bob’s Redmill carries buttermilk powder and it’s so handy. You just add water and make as much as you need. It worked well with this recipe.

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What is Appropriate?

What is appropriate? I’m asking myself this question after receiving a bizarre email from my son’s preschool.

It asked if parents had objections to the children in the 4 and 5 year old class watching G and PG movies. I feel the question is bizarre because how can one not know that it’s inappropriate to watch full length PG movies in preschool? It’s preschool, why are they watching movies anyway and how can you justify PG…in PRESCHOOL?

Many parents who responded to the email thought PG movies made for kids are fine and had no problem with it all.

I’m one of the parents who complained the first time a PG movie was shown. It was G-Force. The poster has guinea pigs holding machine guns. I didn’t want my kids to see this movie, but because my youngest goes to this school, he did. The preschool director said it was a mistake and it would never happen again.

It did happen again, last week, when the kids watched Planet 51. Full disclosure; I took my preschooler to the premiere of this movie. Looking back, I don’t think it was appropriate for his age and not something I would want him to watch when I wasn’t there. A friend of mine complained to the preschool director that the kids were shown this movie, which is what led to the email.

Some of the parents didn’t want their kids to watch movies at school, but what struck me was that they also had a series of other complaints, from lack of supervision to educational content.

It’s interesting to me how the one narrow topic of what movies should be shown has raised so many other festering issues. I wonder why these parents hadn’t said anything before, or if they had, what action was taken?

The last two occasional parent meetings at the school were cancelled by the director. The parents voiced concerns in the emails about issues that I have been talking to the director about for 2 years. If more parents would speak out, maybe it wouldn’t have to come to a mass email with parents going back and forth.

I chose this school for my kids because I liked the teachers, we can walk to it, and the parents seemed nice and down to earth. In the intervening years I’ve had many concerns about how the school is run.  When I come back to the question of “what is appropriate?” I’m certain it’s not PG movies, unhappy parents and an unresponsive preschool director.